Life in the Desert

Ten years ago, THIS week we moved from my promise-land, TEXAS to the desert...aka Scottsdale Arizona. I got the rug ripped out from under me... the rug of green grass & in exchange I got dirt.  When I was little I NEVER imagined living any other place.  In all my dreams it was me & Justin sipping some sweet, iced tea on my front porch when we were old & gray.  So needless to say this was a HUGE change of plans! 

One thing about the Desert is, it's HOT & heat, my Friends is revealing.  It revealed that my Faith was not my own.  You see, I got to grow up in a small town & my Momma made sure that every time the church doors were open that we were there.  I am SO thankful for my upbringing & grateful that to this day I still remember allot of the songs & scripture that where imbedded in me at a very early age! 

But now here in this Desert, did I really believe what I said I believed.  I didn't 'feel' God like before & when I prayed it was as if my prayers hit the ceiling & bounced right back down.  And when I was out hiking & I would walk by someone & no one said 'HELLO' or 'GOOD MORNING' & coming from the South everyone waves & you are seen.  I made cookies for the Walmart Guy because he was the only one that acknowledged me & looked me in the eyes!  I felt all alone.  In my deep depression I turned to an old 'friend' ...bulimia.  The thing about an eating disorder is that it works for awhile.  It was my way to control things that seemed out of control to me.  It was my way to 'cope'.

Months & months went by & one Sunday morning I was emailing a friend back home expressing (complaining) my thoughts.  Justin was working ALLOT to get the Restaurant up & running & there seemed to be no-one like me (a Jesus loving, stay-at-home Momma) & NOT TO MENTION, I moved into Melrose Place...everyone was fit & beautiful & they had their kids every other weekend, so play dates where very inconsistent.  I wanted someone with skin on, to tell me I was going to make it through this CRAZY Season!

and then I heard a whisper, 'where do you think someone like you would be on a Sunday morning?'  Duh!  So I went to the only church I knew that had a late Sunday morning service & by the end of the service I had signed up for a program called 'Homemakers By Choice'.

That next Thursday I went. (that's a big deal-because apart of me felt a little safe in my isolation)  And I sat down in a room full of Women & a beautiful & outgoing Girl leaned over & said HI to me FIRST... It was right then & there that I knew we were going to be friends!  And 10 years later she is still my Best friend. Katy & I have done life together!  Through diapers, depression, moves, more babies, & so much more we have 'seen' each other & spoken Life over each other.  She has been one of my biggest blessing in this desert place.

My desert season exposed my need to replace old coping habits with HIM, alone.  That's the thing about heat...  It brings light to dark places & reveals areas of darkness.

In 1 Peter 1:7 it says...
These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

Friends, I can tell you, NOW because I've walked through the fire... that I know, that I know, that I know HE is ALL that I need.  HE is good.  HE is faithful to never leave us.  HE so loves us.

If anyone were to ask me where I am from, it's always going to be Texas. You can take the Girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the Girl. ;)  I still say 'HELLO' & wave at strangers & every once in while they wave back.  But know this...I have found life in the Desert...not just any old life, a FULL life, Abundantly FREE life!  The life that my Abba intended me to have!

So Beloved, if you are in a desert space press into HIM. HE's SO got good things for you {in} the desert!