Monday, September 16, 2013

Tomorrows Freedom Is Todays Surrender


Last week I get a FB message from one of my FAVorite Holy Yoga instructors asking 'ME' to sub for her in five days! & my first response was ...I am NOT ready. Send.
& just like that I became Moses again. You know when HE's talking to GOD in a burning bush EX 3&4) & Moses tells GOD that He can't speak & I need Aaron to speak for me. Send someone else...AKA ...He's not ready.
Right after I sent the message I walked into church. I am apart of an amazing church & one of the many things that I love about my church is the 'thickness' of HIS presence during worship. You can't come into a space like that, seeking HIM & not see HIM. It's SO, so good. On that day I couldn't in all honesty lift my hands and sing 'my God is enough for me' b/c I had just sent a message that I wasn't ready...Meaning that my God isn't really enough for me...
By the end of worship God had really done a work on me & showed me that WE were ready. SO I was jumping in NO MATTER what! I'm done being Moses needing an Aaron to speak. HE has made me for this ...so I surrender. I'm doing it scared...no, terrified!!! 
I spent some really good time just me & Jesus ...you know the kind where you just know if you had heavenly eyes you could see Him sitting right next to me...
HE asked me why I was terrified? ...
What it came down to is that I didn't want to fail in front of everybody & I'm scared that YOU are not going to speak through me... But I'm mostly terrified that I will miss out on what HE is doing in & through Holy Yoga. 
As soon as I was able to surrender to ALL HE had for me ...good, bad & even maybe the ugly...I felt total & complete FREEDOM! To play. To have fun! knowing that I really can't make a mistake!
So on the day of the class I talked about Peter taking a step out of the boat... And how it was a step of surrender... & how I want to always be READY to get out of the boat when my Maker says 'Come'.
So Beloved, what's YOUR boat? & what is HE inviting you to surrender ...

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