Competition, Comparison or CELEBRATION?

Competition, Comparison or CELEBRATION?
The other day I overheard my daughter's friend say to her, 'You are perfect. I hate you.'... Wait what?! Was that supposed to be a compliment?  Why is it that (especially) us Ladies see 'HER' success as my loss.  Why do we constantly compare ourselves to one another.  Why do we see 'HER' doing something good & we immedantily think there is LESS for me.  I think it has allot to do with this Scarcity Mentality.  This is a hidden agreement that we (Ladies) have had for way to long.
Scarcity Mentality says things like:
-there is not enough
-I'm not enough
-there's nothing left for me

As if there was a pie & if 'she' gets a bigger piece that means there is LESS for me.

At the end of December, I was at a Birthday Party for Jesus & one of my closest Girlfriend's, Bethanie came up to me & shared with me where she was at & it was clear by the look in her eyes that she needed a change & I recognized that look. (I'd saw that same look in the mirror for awhile) So, I  jumped in with her!  We decided to do a Wellness Challenge through Herbalife & TruHit Gym.  We changed our eating habits & workouts ...& we got to do this together!!!  It was a tremendous gift to go through this Transformation together!  She was a great source of accountability, inspiration & strength! (still is)

But, let me be real here, it was hard.  We went up against this ugly spirit of Scarcity & Comparison.  The enemy of our souls came for our friendship & our success.

A month or so into our challenge Bethanie won the Janurary Challenge & after one of our WOD (Workout Of the Day) :) Our Coach & good Friend said to me 'Look at Bethanie's numbers.  She is rocking it!  She is doing her Meal Plan & getting great results!'  (in front of everybody)
THIS.WAS.HARD.
In my head I was a 13 year old girl who didn't measure up.  What I heard her say was... you are not enough.  What she was saying was it's working for Bethanie & it will work for you.  She was trying to give me hope but the enemy was trying to take me captive with comparison.  I trust my Coach. I know she loves me & wants what is best for me!

This was a gift for me.   The LORD had deeper healing for me in this area.

Immediately after this happened, Bethanie & I came together & spoke about it. We said to one another...'This Comparison Thing is NOT who WE are. It's not how we do things!'

Also, Bethanie felt bad for doing great!?!  I do not (for one second) want my friend to shrink back because she is fearful that I'm going to get my feelings hurt!  I want her to SHINE!  Her success is also mine!

Have you ever heard God say 'yes' to someone else & 'not right now' to you...that really feels like a 'no'.  If we are honest it stings a little.  (sometimes allot!)  But here's the thing, we need a NEW perspective!  When this happens, see it as HOPE!  (your 'yes' is on it's way!)

So no more scarcity mentality.  Let's flip it to 'abundance' mentality.  He is a MORE than God!

It says in Ephesians 3:20-'Now to HIM who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us!'  

Know that the LORD is good & his intentions for you are good.  I am fully equipped for MY work.  HE has made me with great care & purpose.  He has clothed my body for the plans HE has for me...to carry my load.  There is place in this world that only I can fill.  Why would I desire to fill a space that wasn't meant for me.

I am enough because HE is enough. HE has more than enough.

I am so thankful that Bethanie shared this experience with me & that we 'get' to do this thing together!!!  We are both Herbalife Coaches in hopes to help others!  Oh, and BTW, I won the February Transformation Challenge! :) Only at Jesus' Birthday Party do you take home a gift that I get to keep opening everyday!!!

And let's teach our little Girls to cheer for each other!  There is more than enough. Let us CELEBRATE each other!

Shine on, Beloved!

<3

What a difference a Month makes!

So today was our Final Assessment for January Challenge with HerbaLife & TruHit.  I want to share with you my WINS.  And this is not what you might think or even what I thought they were going to be at the beginning of this month...You see this is not about what I lost but what I GAINED.

  I GAINED a bigger heart!

I learned (am learning) an appreciation for my body AS IS!(.)  As I would go to the gym or even in my Yoga classes I would ENJOY the things my body can do & not focus on the things that I just haven't done yet.  Instead of looking in the mirror & picking myself apart, I took a long look in the mirror & LIKED what saw... and let me just say this had very little to do with the outside of my body & allot to do with what's WITH IN me. (Inside Job!)

My Creator, my Heavenly Father created me with great intention & purpose.  ...fearfully & wonderfully made. Ps 139

                 I GAINED more food!

Every time I would get on the scale for my weekly check in's my coach, Shelly would adjust some things.  She would look at my Number's & see my lack & give me more.  She didn't take food away, she gave me more of what I was lacking.  EVERY time I got on a scale & she saw I didn't lose weight so she ADDED to my food intake!!!  For me I needed more Protein...allot more protein.  I was unaware of how much my body needs protein to operate in the place where I can THRIVE.  So I trusted her because She has been doing this for a long time & has seen great results.  The scale has always been a huge trigger for me.  It has always told me where I had fallen short ...& in a way that's true.  I needed MORE good food!

The LORD is a 'more than' God.  HE always wants to give me more where I lack.  ...Every good & Perfect gift is from HIM. James 1:17

I GAINED relationships!

I did this challenge with one of my Besties, Bethanie.  We were both in the same place in our mind, body & soul & wanted something more!  So I got to do some of my sweating alongside my Sister!

To hear her voice say to me 'You got this!' or 'two minutes left' or 'keep it up!'...gave me SO much strength ...gave me LIFE!

Also, through out this challenged I realized how much I 'treated' myself by giving myself junk.  So I would send Bethanie pictures of what I was choosing not to eat (my favorite cookies, taco bell or even doughnuts)  ...and you know what it helped me!  Just to know that someone else knew I wanted this & I was choosing  something that was better for me was SO powerful!  She was there with me when I didn't see anything shifting & she stood with me & spoke to things I didn't see.  But most of the time her silent presence was what I needed most... to know she {in} this with me.

(Jesus has been teaching me ALLOT about Presence but that will be another Blog)

Also, she ROCKED this challenge & I got to be in on the celebration of her hard work!  I got to see her smile through sweat & she inspired me SO much with her strength! (Iron sharpens Iron)

One class last week I was so inspired by the women around me in my class I started crying... while doing mountain climbers!

Let me just take a moment & clarify what I saw,  I saw veterans that have been doing Cross Fit for a long time & they looked so strong & brave!

Then there were others that had been away for a while & they came in lifting double my body weight just by showing up in there own skin & they were so strong & so brave!

Then there was me, a Beginner asking for the modification so I wouldn't hurt my back... & I was strong & brave!

We were not meant to travel this road alone.  HE is near & Girlfriends make it so much more fun to sweat with!  Text/Call & meet up for a hike or even a yoga class!  ...Our Father created us for relationships with Him & with others! ...Gen 1:27

I GAINED knowledge!

Brooke Boone always says 'In order to know where you are going you have to know where you are.'  Drop the Pin.

At the beginning of the month I took measurements & I took an assessment of some basic skills.  I got on the scale. (and the hardest one for me) I took some pictures.

I wanted to get sober-minded.  I wanted to see where I was starting.  No shame.  No condemnation, it's just were I was...

You see Beloved, this was more than a Resolution for me, it was the last month of being 36 & this for me was one of the hardest years (mentally/spiritually) of my life & I refuse to let this year go down feeling like it was all a waste.  It is privilege to get older! ..to have another birthday.  I want to live the abundant life for my Hubby, for my Kids, for my friends & most importantly for me!  HE made me for MORE!

I now KNOW how to feed my body. I have SO much more energy & strength & I am ready to what God has called me to do, this day.

Maybe, just maybe Jesus has more for me than a 'Thigh Gap' or number on the scale (& if you have that you rock, too)...

Oh & by the way I signed up for another month Challenge.  I feel to good to stop!

So, Beloved, you are NOT alone in your struggle.  I hope you know that.  Have some fun maybe even do a Box Jump or even a Burpee!  But jump in, live your life to the full!  

Where does my validation come from?

Where does my validation come from?

BY AMY SCOTT

Today was one of those days where I felt like I got knocked down.  I got on the scale and it did not say what I thought it would say...  Seriously, I should KNOW by now that validation for my hard work is never going to come from a scale.  But why do I keep going back to that place for approval???  Yesterday, I was feeling stronger & (most importantly) happy with the changes I have made since the beginning of the year to {be} intentional about what I put into my MIND, BODY & SOUL...
So why did everything change when I got on the scale???
And what if it did say what I wanted it to say, what then... would that make it all worth it?  Until the next time I got on the scale...  It's just like the enemy to dangle some fruit in front of me & jerk it away at the last minute.

I think what it comes down to for me is that I want what I do to matter.  I want to SEE a difference. like now!

My goal at the beginning of the year was to 'FEEL' better... to feel more like ME.  To be comfortable in my own skin.  And that my Sister, is an INSIDE job.  What I mean by that is that no ONE or no THING outside can tell me that what I am doing matters except me.  I have to believe that the choices I am making today are making me ready for all God has for me tomorrow.

Here's another thing, there is this beautiful balance of acceptance & challenging myself to be little bit better than I was yesterday.  To show up as I am but to leave changed.  In Yoga they say the Yin & Yang... We need both.

So I get out of bed, and put things of value into my mind & body to feed my soul & believe that it does matter.  It matters to my hubby, my kids, my friends & even that stranger in the store that needed a smile that I was able to give it to them because I am feeling good. ...& It matters to my Maker!

HE sees.

Ultimately, I was made for MORE!  (John 10:10)  I was made for a FULL life.  Maybe that why I weigh so much because I am FULL!

I don't know if this helps you at all...or if this lesson was just for me but I thought I'd share {in} my process.  And if you get on that old scale today & it doesn't tell you what you think it should, throw it away!  Stop going to it to tell you your worth.  Go to your Creator.  He is well pleased!  And His pleasure has nothing to do with your weight.  He looks at the heart...

And as Fat Amy would say, (from Pitch Perfect) 'Fat heart's are what really maters!'  :)

So Beloved, feed your soul today & know you are not defined by the number on that scale!

Season of Hiddenness

Brene Brown says, 'Courage originally meant, to speak one's mind by telling all of one's heart.'

That's hard.  What if I tell my heart & you reject it?

You see I'm a recovering 'People Pleaser'.  There is a big part of me that desires to please you.  I spent years & years of striving for perfection & for others affirmation ...and quite frankly I was exhausted.  I do believe this desire to please comes from a GOOD place... it's the 'WHO' ...that's where it gets messy.

For the past few months I've been walking (crawling) through a season of 'Hiddenness'.  I wouldn't call it a dark space but definitely a grey place... a foggy place... a unfamiliar place... very uncomfortable... I can't seem to HEAR HIM.  I can't SEE HIM.  I can't FEEL HIM.  And no matter what I 'do' ...nothing changes.

I've been very spoiled.  Most of my life HE has given me allot of confirmation that He is near.

My Mom tells me a story of when I was very little when I was in church & we were singing an old hymn & I raised my hands.  I had NEVER seen these demonstrated before but my soul longed to worship my maker & I could feel Him through the goosebumps on my arms.

Today I remember the times where I have felt His manifest Presence in my life & I gently remind myself ...it will not always be like this.  this is a season.  I will (one day) look back on this & it will tell me something new about who HE is. ...or about who I am in HIM, now because of this season.

In February I took a Holy Yoga class & Brooke shared 'Doubt does not disqualify'...she spoke about how in Matthew 28:17 it says 'When they saw HIM, they worshipped HIM, but some doubted.'

At that time in my life I couldn't see how I could ever doubt HIM.  His goodness.  His nearness.  His faithfulness.

And yet, this summer the last thing I remember him saying to me was 'I don't doubt you'.

Friends, I don't doubt HIM ...I doubt 'MY' ability to see his goodness.  to cling to him...all the days of my life.

My life verse is Psalms 27:13 'I remain confident in this, I will see the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living.'

So there it is... In the land of the living, where things are messy, blurry, foggy, dark... I remain.

So I show up to my mat, to my life, to teach... still {in} process of this season.  with all my mess.  with all my questions.  with all my uncertainties.

And guess what it doesn't scare HIM away.  I see in scripture over & over where HE uses the 'unqualified'.

So the 'people pleaser' in me tells me to stop teaching, to figure this thing out before I teach...or even speak for that matter.  So I recently asked one of my HoYo Sisters if she thought I should sit out this season of teaching because I feel so inadequate to call on the name of the Lord & lead others to a place of Presence ...when I'm not feeling it.  She said this season does NOT disqualify you...it is what truly qualifies you to teach!

So I show up, in all my mess without fear of disappointing anyone...with one desire, to please HIM.  Teaching from a place of complete vulnerability & transparency.

Just as I am, today.  And I will keep speaking to Him, even when I can't hear HIM.  And I believe HE hears me.

And you know what ...there is nothing left to do.  ...it's already been done.

HE is already pleased.

And I can not motivate him to love me anymore than He already does, right now.

...and HE does not doubt me.

Beloved, I hope this word blesses you.  You are not alone in your season!
You are loved by a NEAR & good God.  HE is SO please with you.  Keep showing up & in the words of a well known 'philosopher' Just keep on Believin!

Happy BIRTHday!!!

                                  
Happy birthday to me!
No, you didn't miss my birthday! (but I except gifts year around ;) TEHE!
This week I celebrated my FIRST year of teaching Holy Yoga.  This is a HUGE victory!  You see I went up (& go up) against some pretty big giants this past year.

Tuesday morning, before I taught I went on to Facebook to see if anyone was coming to my class ;) & I saw a video in my feed that had me LAID OUT,  on the floor in tears.

It was a just Pampers Commercial & Mom's were bringing their baby's in for their one year check up.  (Posted below)
These Mom's sat with the doctor & talked about this past year.  they said things like:::
I was insure
I was worried
Am I doing this right
Everything is new
I didn't know what to do
loss of sleep

Boy could I relate to EVERYTHING they were saying & THEN SOME!  I felt SO inadequate this year.  This 'not knowing' space.
Am I enough?
Did I say enough?
Did I do enough?
Do they understand me?
Did I touch her?
Is this ALL worth it?
Is anyone going to show up?

Don't get me wrong, this year has held some great moments of clarity & JOY but for most part of this season has been messy...foggy...unsettled.

As I look back over this year I see a little girl who just wants to please her Daddy & be what HE created her to be.  ..Just to be near HIM & to make HIS presence known.

This new space is yes, unfamiliar territory (but not really) for me but not for HIM.  HE is leading me deeper, closer... side by side kind of friendship,  & I am so scared but a excited sacred.   I get to know Him in a new way.  I get to see Him in a different way.

So in the Pampers commercial the Dad's come in while the Mom's are in their appointment & decorate the hallways that the they will walk through with pics of the past year. The Dad's acknowledge them & all that they have sacrificed.  Even spoke words over them.  Made them a cake & had them blow out a candle.

So Tuesday morning I got this image of my Abba, MY Heavenly Father putting up my (OUR) pictures of this past year.... of all the times I've ran to HIM, cried out to HIM, felt HIS pleasure & even HIS distance, times where I've had feelings of 'not enough'...& you know what Beloved, HE was there...HE was SO there with me.  You see HE desires ME. (ME?!) I don't ever think I will be able to wrap my head/heart around HIS lavish love for me.  ..but I will spend my lifetime in pursuit of HIM.
So it's just right, left, right, left...I do the natural, HE does the SUPER...

So... I am SO grateful, like a Momma with her one year old baby on her knee, blowing out that candle & shoving that cake in her face...Yes, it was messy, it was hard but you know what I'd do it ALL over again because of HIM...I get MORE of HIM & His presence is my breath.

So today, I'm going to blow out my candle & celebrate all the hidden, seen & unseen VICTORIES that this year has held.

These might be some of the pictures:::

 This was me right before I walked into my very first class at Yoga Because, September 13, 2013.  HOLY!

 THIS was the beautiful souls that were at my first class.  Taught on Peter getting out of the boat. HOLY!

 This was my biggest class up at Young Life ...just a few feet where I did my Student Teaching. HOLY!

 This was when I got to observe NEW Instructors doing their very first Student teaching. HOLY!

This was now of my classes that it was just me & Jesus. HOLY!

Beloved, may you continue to pursue your pursuer!  

Here's that video:::

http://ipost.christianpost.com/news/mom-took-her-baby-for-her-one-year-check-up-what-she-saw-on-her-way-out-left-her-in-tears-15518/?redirect

Life in the Desert

Ten years ago, THIS week we moved from my promise-land, TEXAS to the desert...aka Scottsdale Arizona. I got the rug ripped out from under me... the rug of green grass & in exchange I got dirt.  When I was little I NEVER imagined living any other place.  In all my dreams it was me & Justin sipping some sweet, iced tea on my front porch when we were old & gray.  So needless to say this was a HUGE change of plans! 

One thing about the Desert is, it's HOT & heat, my Friends is revealing.  It revealed that my Faith was not my own.  You see, I got to grow up in a small town & my Momma made sure that every time the church doors were open that we were there.  I am SO thankful for my upbringing & grateful that to this day I still remember allot of the songs & scripture that where imbedded in me at a very early age! 

But now here in this Desert, did I really believe what I said I believed.  I didn't 'feel' God like before & when I prayed it was as if my prayers hit the ceiling & bounced right back down.  And when I was out hiking & I would walk by someone & no one said 'HELLO' or 'GOOD MORNING' & coming from the South everyone waves & you are seen.  I made cookies for the Walmart Guy because he was the only one that acknowledged me & looked me in the eyes!  I felt all alone.  In my deep depression I turned to an old 'friend' ...bulimia.  The thing about an eating disorder is that it works for awhile.  It was my way to control things that seemed out of control to me.  It was my way to 'cope'.

Months & months went by & one Sunday morning I was emailing a friend back home expressing (complaining) my thoughts.  Justin was working ALLOT to get the Restaurant up & running & there seemed to be no-one like me (a Jesus loving, stay-at-home Momma) & NOT TO MENTION, I moved into Melrose Place...everyone was fit & beautiful & they had their kids every other weekend, so play dates where very inconsistent.  I wanted someone with skin on, to tell me I was going to make it through this CRAZY Season!

and then I heard a whisper, 'where do you think someone like you would be on a Sunday morning?'  Duh!  So I went to the only church I knew that had a late Sunday morning service & by the end of the service I had signed up for a program called 'Homemakers By Choice'.

That next Thursday I went. (that's a big deal-because apart of me felt a little safe in my isolation)  And I sat down in a room full of Women & a beautiful & outgoing Girl leaned over & said HI to me FIRST... It was right then & there that I knew we were going to be friends!  And 10 years later she is still my Best friend. Katy & I have done life together!  Through diapers, depression, moves, more babies, & so much more we have 'seen' each other & spoken Life over each other.  She has been one of my biggest blessing in this desert place.

My desert season exposed my need to replace old coping habits with HIM, alone.  That's the thing about heat...  It brings light to dark places & reveals areas of darkness.

In 1 Peter 1:7 it says...
These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

Friends, I can tell you, NOW because I've walked through the fire... that I know, that I know, that I know HE is ALL that I need.  HE is good.  HE is faithful to never leave us.  HE so loves us.

If anyone were to ask me where I am from, it's always going to be Texas. You can take the Girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the Girl. ;)  I still say 'HELLO' & wave at strangers & every once in while they wave back.  But know this...I have found life in the Desert...not just any old life, a FULL life, Abundantly FREE life!  The life that my Abba intended me to have!

So Beloved, if you are in a desert space press into HIM. HE's SO got good things for you {in} the desert!

Saul's Armor

This week I was reading to my little boy his all time favorite Bible story & something jumped out at me like never before. 

You have probably heard of David & Goliath, right. Well David comes to bring some lunch to his brothers & hears this 9 foot man taunting God's army & he (the shepherd boy) decides he will take that giant down. So King Saul says to David in 1 Samuel 17:

³⁸ Then Saul gave David his own armor—a bronze helmet and a coat of mail. ³⁹ David put it on, strapped the sword over it, and took a step or two to see what it was like, for he had never worn such things before.
“I can’t go in these,” he protested to Saul. “I’m not used to them.” So David took them off again. ⁴⁰ He picked up five smooth stones from a stream and put them into his shepherd’s bag. Then, armed only with his shepherd’s staff and sling, he started across the valley to fight the Philistine.

We all know the end of the story. David defeated Goliath with one stone!
What I love about David is that he knew that Saul's armor wasn't for him.  He knew exactly who he was & what has brought him victory in the past.

So many of us try to wear 'Saul's Armor'.  We see someone else operating in their gifting & we desire the same gift. 
Or we compare ourselves ...
Or we become jealous...
Or we try as hard as my can to 'fit in' that armor.  It's exhausting!  I've tried it ALL!

Maybe it's those Skinny Jeans for you?
Or a number on the scale?
Or a position of honor & success?

What ever your 'armor' is, it's place of bondage. it's a place of striving. it's NOT what the LORD has JUST for y.o.u.

I believe the reason David did not have a problem saying no the Saul's Armor is because he knew who he was ...& whose he was. 

David was the last to get the e-vite to his own anointing party when he was 12 b/c he didn't LOOK the part.  But Samuel was instructed by God to look at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) David was the one that God had chosen. He set him apart. He was as it says in Acts 'a man after God's own heart'. (Acts 13:22)

Also, David had beaten a lion & bear (1 Samuel 17:34-37), so he wasn't afraid of this big man.
I believe when we know & believe who we are in Christ we will never want to be anyone other than who HE created us to be!

So let me challenge you... Take off that armor that wasn't meant for you. And pick up your staff & sling & slay your giant with ease.


BeLoved.